While this article discusses the importance of open conversations around suicide, it has not been written by or in collaboration with CALM. If you are struggling or worried about someone else, you can contact CALM’s helpline for support, or visit their website for more information. If there is an immediate risk to life, it is important to call emergency services (999 in the UK) straight away.

For many people, suicide is still treated like a forbidden word. People speak around it, replacing it with softer phrases like “passed away”, “lost their battle”, or “hurt themselves”. Even when someone says they are struggling, others often avoid asking the direct question: “Are you thinking about suicide?”

There is a widespread belief that saying the word itself is dangerous, that bringing it up might “put the idea into someone’s head” or make things worse. But research shows the opposite is true. Talking openly about suicide does not increase the risk of someone acting on those feelings. In fact, it can reduce shame, help people feel seen, and encourage them to seek support (Murphy, 2021).

The misconception exists for a few reasons. Suicide is surrounded by fear, grief and discomfort. Many people worry they will say the wrong thing. Others assume that if someone is suicidal, they should avoid “triggering” them by mentioning it directly. There is also confusion between talking about suicide responsibly and sensationalising it. Graphic portrayals of suicide in films, television or news reports can sometimes be harmful, especially if they glamorise it or focus on methods. But this is very different from having an honest, caring conversation with someone who may be struggling (Posselt et al., 2020).

In reality, silence is often far more dangerous than conversation. Many people who experience suicidal thoughts already feel isolated, ashamed or like a burden. If nobody is willing to say the word, it can reinforce the idea that what they are feeling is too frightening or unacceptable to talk about. That loneliness can make everything worse.

This is why it is so important to remove the fear around saying the word suicide. When people are too scared to talk about it, those who are struggling can end up feeling even more alone. In reality, when someone mentions suicide, it should always betaken seriously. Research shows that many people who die by suicide have previously told someone that they were struggling or did not want to live anymore. Asking someone directly if they are thinking about suicide can be an important first step in helping them feel heard, supported and less alone.

This is why organisations like Campaign Against Living Miserably are so important. CALM has built its identity around saying the word suicide directly and refusing to let it remain hidden behind euphemisms. Rather than avoiding difficult conversations, the charity actively encourages them.

CALM’s work is built on the idea that people should not have to suffer in silence. The organisation talks openly about suicide, challenges stereotypes around who is affected, and encourages people to ask direct questions when they are worried about someone. It also recognises that many people who feel suicidal do not “look suicidal” on the outside. Someone can be laughing, working, socialising and appearing fine, while struggling deeply underneath.

A big part of CALM’s approach is that they very boldly use the word “suicide” in their branding, campaigns and messaging. While many organisations soften the language or avoid the word entirely, CALM does the opposite. They understand that if suicide is treated like something too frightening to even say out loud, people who are struggling may feel even more ashamed of what they are experiencing. By using the word openly, CALM helps normalise these conversations and shows that suicide is something we can and should talk about.

If you would like to support organisations working to prevent suicide and create spaces for open, honest conversations, you can learn more and donate here: https://donate.givingfortheliving.com/calms-life-saving-suicide-prevention-helpline/68b9a01debddeac3ee35c877

We are also closely aligned in our belief in transparency. Just as CALM believes in speaking openly and honestly about suicide, we believe donors should have a transparent view of the causes they support and the impact they are making. Openness builds trust, whether that is in conversations around mental health or in the relationship between charities and their supporters.

Authored by: Sana Balisani

References

Murphy, M. (2021, May 26). Does talking about suicide make someone more likely to commit suicide? University of Nevada, Reno. https://www.unr.edu/nevada-today/news/2021/atp-normalize-talking-about-suicide

Posselt, M., McIntyre, H., & Procter, N. (2020). The impact of screen media portrayals of suicide on viewers: A rapid review of the evidence. Health & Social Care in the Community, 29(1). https://doi.org/10.1111/hsc.13112

‍